How To Forge Healthy, Flexible Boundaries

Contributed by Maggie Wilhelm, Mental Health Coach-In-Residence at WISe Wellness Guild

Can you identify with the struggle of setting healthy boundaries? Healthy boundaries are safe, flexible, and connected! 
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Finding the balance between loose v. rigid boundaries is a lot easier said than done.
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For many, the desire to be liked by others is so strong that we derive self worth and value from pleasing others.
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This pattern of people-pleasing appears in the form of giving too much or too little to others, not knowing or asserting our limits, getting involved too quickly, trusting too easily, intruding on others’ boundaries, staying in toxic relationships, heightened #stress & pressure to appease others, intense emotions (especially guilt & shame), great difficulty saying “No,” Even at the expense of our own needs & mental health.
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This is where we see increased anger, conflict, resentment, #burnout & depression arise. 
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When deciding how firm or intense you want to be in asking for something or saying no, DBT guides us to think about the following:
1. The other person’s & your own capability.
2. Your priorities.
3. The effect of your actions on your own self-respect.
4. Your & the other persons moral & legal rights in the situation.
5. Your authority over the other person (or vice versa).
6. The type of relationship you have and want with the person.
7. The effect of your action on long versus short term goals.
8. The degree of give-and-take in your relationship.
9. Whether or not you have done your homework to prepare.
10. The timing of your request or refusal.
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What gets in the way of you saying no? Setting your limits AND sticking to them shows #selfrespect & models what you will accept or not accept in your relationships= HEALTHY BOUNDARIES!!
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Acting within YOUR #goals & #values is an integral part of your #mentalhealth #wellness & will increase your #selfworth #confidence & #empowerment ⁣💪🏽💪🏾💪🏿
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Which #thoughts #emotions or behaviors get in the way of you achieving your goals? Identify the ones that hold you back, keep you stuck, or take you to a dark place. THOSE are the ones you have to change! If you’d like to go through them together, reach out to me for individualized work. I offer telehealth #therapy #confidencecoaching & #empowermentcoaching ⁣

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#wisewellnessguild #wisewomen
#serenityprofessionalcounseling #maggiewilhelmcoaching#empowermentcoach #confidence #selflove #findyourvoice#conflictresolution 
#healthyboundaries #acceptanceversuschange #thoughtsarepowerful#connection⁣ 
#healthyrelationships⁣
#mentalhealthawareness