Self-Care Amid COVID - Tica's Story

Tica’s world changed the day she picked up her four children from school and the principal reported there’d be no more in-school education the rest of the school year.  “In the beginning, I tried to do it at home all alone,” says Shatica (“Tica”) English, BSN, RN, and 2 South Night Shift Assistant Clinical Manager.  

“I’d come home from night shift, drinks lots of coffee in order to stay up and get the children online for their schoolwork,” says Tica. “Some mornings I’d be so tired I’d have to tell them, “go ahead and brush your teeth and eat a bowl of cereal and I’ll be right back.’ Then I’d go into my bedroom and collect myself, sometimes cry, before I could put on a fresh face for the children and help them. I was getting very little sleep, not eating well, and drinking coffee 24/7.” Eventually Tica’s husband Jim took a leave of absence from his job to help educate the children, allowing Tica to maintain her fulltime nightshift schedule. 

Tica found all the normal household responsibilities were still present as well. “Life goes on,” she says.  “All the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry still needed attention too. I also realized I really missed not going to church on Sundays, unable to see everyone, worship together, and educate the children in this way. We had to figure out how to do that at home as a family. I prayed a lot and became stronger spiritually, but physically I was very weak.” 

“Looking back, I wish I had paid more attention to my body,” Tica shares. “I was so focused on making sure the children were doing their schoolwork, that the cooking, cleaning and laundry were done.  I wish I had made myself one of those priorities, put something on the back burner, and paid more attention to my needs.  At the time I couldn’t see that.” 

 In all, Tica has six children, two adult daughters 26 and 20 years old, and a 12, 9, 6 and 4-year-old at home. After 6 weeks when most of the children’s online schoolwork was finished, Tica was able to involve more of Jim’s family so that he was able to go back to work. Tica also asked her sister-in-law Debbie to help with their two youngest children so she could get more rest. 

“Taking care of myself trickles down into work as well,” says Tica. “Now that I sleep better, I’m clearer, have better time management, and am more productive. It impacts both home and work.”  

Changing longtime priorities, however, doesn’t always come easy. “I’m still working on it,” says Tica. “Compassion, putting others first (and myself last) is in my DNA. I was also raised that way, was taught to put spouse and children first, and it's in my heart. But taking care of myself wasn’t a part of it.” 

Around the house, Tica reports, the children now are more involved with helping prepare meals and, as a family, they are doing more together and becoming closer. She says the focus of her oldest two daughters is different too. “Now they are more interested in coming over to have a meal together and work on their laundry, rather than asking me to help with their babies while they get their hair and nails done or go out to see a movie. We’ve gotten back to the basics, playing games, cooking together. And I ask for help more often from Jim’s family so I can get the rest I need.” 

Tica finds keeping the commitment to take better care of herself requires reminders, which she easily finds when talking with her mother long distance. “When I just need that girl talk, I’m always on the phone with my mother, she’ll bring things to my attention,” says Tica. “I’ve learned if I can remember in my daily routine to get adequate rest and sleep, eat well, drink plenty of water, take a restful soaking bath, listen to my music, and ask for help more often, I can deal with everything else. I’ll find it all goes better.”